A Foolish Wisdom

relative ends

2011-05-21T23:32:00.000-07:00

listening to the words of a song
from a movie that was a play
will someone care

sung by the members of a life support group
for people dying of aids
suddenly i am aware

that everyone is dying
and everyone is trying
to not be alone in the end

and everyone is wondering
the question is thundering
will someone be the friend
who will be there in the end

we're all asking
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
when the body fails me
when i can no longer care for myself
will i face nursing home dangers
will i be put out with the trash
will i be at the mercy of strangers
wiping my nose, my drool, my ass
will i lose my dignity
will someone care

it may be more obvious with cancer or aids
but we all share the same fear
of being alone at the end

old age is the final card that is played
if none of the others do it,
old age will, my friend

for everyone is dying
and everyone is trying
to not be alone in the end

and everyone is wondering
the question is thundering
will someone be the friend
who will be there in the end

we're all asking
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
when the body fails me
when i can no longer care for myself
will i face nursing home dangers
will i be put out with the trash
will i be at the mercy of strangers
wiping my nose, my drool, my ass
will i lose my dignity
will someone care

sometimes i want to end it all while i can
rather than be alone when i'm helpless at the end
sometimes i want to end it all, do you understand?
no one answers when i ask who will be the friend?

we're all asking
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
when the body fails me
when i can no longer care for myself
will i face nursing home dangers
will i be put out with the trash
will i be at the mercy of strangers
wiping my nose, my drool, my ass
will i lose my dignity
will someone care

for everyone is dying
and everyone is trying
to not be alone in the end

and everyone is wondering
the question is thundering
will someone be the friend
who will be there in the end

beheadings

2010-03-06T19:15:00.000-08:00

understanding

are you afraid that if you actually realized that you could understand everything that maybe your head would fall off or something

all along

2010-03-06T19:04:00.000-08:00

as if it's been here all along

and so it has, because it is, because you see, the here and now, was once before and this was not, but now it is, as if it's been here all along ...

foolish wisdom

2009-10-30T19:27:00.001-07:00

everything in this world is so skewed by human judgments, by preconceptions of right and wrong, how can anyone have a clearly objective perspective or understanding of anything?

Open books

2009-03-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

I'm a book...
sometimes fiction, mostly non-fiction...

2005-06-10

Aren't we all? ... only the percentages are different

Hope and towels

2009-03-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

it's tough to lose a towel
when your eyes are full of soap
but it's worse to lose a friend
when your heart is full of hope

2005-06-25

:)

Unfinished business

2009-03-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

but I can't leave now, I have unfinished madness...

2005-06-08

Some of the titles of your posts are pure gems!

Three f's

2009-03-07T08:21:00.000-08:00

freaky folly and fun...

2005-05-29

Some words just sound good together ...

is the future now?

2009-03-07T08:19:00.000-08:00

I sit here tapping the keys as if something grand is happening, as if all this time I spend putting my thoughts and observations into words has some real worth for the world... why else would I use my time and energy this way... why else would I upload the words...
how many thousands of us are doing this now and what does it mean?... are we by conscious choice all putting ourselves in cubicles, behind walls, behind screens and words, distant and apart?... is this the direction our species is heading?... will this be the social life of the future?... is the future now?...
I grew tired of the club scene, the drinking, the drugs, the dress up and put on the show... though sometimes the meaningless fun and ego show was worth it, all in all it was more of a waste of time and money than fun... I did not want to work hard to make money just to spend the money on going out to try to impress someone, to try to meet someone...
real has to start with real, not with pretense...
2005-05-29

Hmmm ... deep thoughts ... real thoughts ...

Mindful tracks ...

2009-03-07T06:12:00.000-08:00

... it would be great for me to wake up enough to connect with some musicians and the festival people and maybe even get involved in putting the shows together like I was going to do way back in 2000 when I came back to Orlando to start life over...
obviously I did not take the fast track...

2005-05-19

Gotta love a mind that has such an innate sense of comedic timing! It's not easy being funny ... or green for that matter

Eagles, condoms and lustfilled love

2009-03-03T14:42:00.001-08:00

GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT:
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

2005-05-13

Need I explain why I am in love with your brain?

Anybody in there?

2009-03-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time writing, too much time online, too much time alone, too much time in my mind... and then I remember that I am not alone in my mind
2005-05-09

absolutely delicious!

Q & A

2009-03-03T10:31:00.000-08:00

are you thinking?... I think so
are you feeling?... more today than yesterday
are you out there?... I'm here which is probably there
are you here?... how can I be here if you're there ... but I'm here and you're there
are you drinking?... water, life, tears
are you dealing?... as well as I can at this moment
are you aware?... I'm thinking I'm aware is that the same thing?
do you care?... I care about a lot of things ... is that enough?
what's the story?... morning glory
what's the answer?... why not?
what's the message you must tell?... I am, I was, I saw, I cried, I laughed, I smiled, I tried
is it heaven?... and hell
is it worthless?... nothing's worthless
is it magic?... everything is magical from at least one perspective
will it sell?... I've sold it to myself so yes ...
2005-04-14

Rivers run

2009-03-03T10:28:00.000-08:00

it seems to me we all flow in the same way, creating or finding different rivers, trying to believe our rivers are better than other rivers, forgetting we all empty into the same sea...
2005-04-14

beautiful

Cool???

2009-03-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

there are times when I get so excited that whatever cool I might have simply slides off like I'm rubber and cool is water if you know what I mean...
2005-03-08

sorry if this hurts or stings ... here's a band-aid and a kiss for the boo-boo just in case ... but seriously ... you? ... cool? ... come on ...

bittersweet truth

2009-03-01T08:45:00.001-08:00

what we want to be and what we are usually do not meet

2005-01-11

how true

Someday ...

2009-03-01T08:43:00.001-08:00

someday we'll get to the point
2005-01-11

emo-memories

2009-03-01T07:51:00.001-08:00

timeless ideas... timeless emotions... wonderful, beautiful, sometimes painful, but impersonal... ideas are impersonal and emotions are illusions, for when we look around we are not seeing each other, we are not sharing the moments, the experience, each other... we read and feel the memories and emotions within us...
2005-01-02

No-things

2009-02-27T10:11:00.000-08:00

I have been buried a long time deep in anti-social habits (not bad things, just no-things)...
2004-10-25

words to the wise

2009-02-27T08:25:00.001-08:00

use your imagination before it uses you...

2004-04-20

worry

2009-02-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

worry is a misuse of the imagination

2004-04-20

words we should all live by ... itf only we'd remember

Curious vs Puritans

2009-02-26T12:55:00.000-08:00

curiosity may have killed the cat, but purity killed the dream...
the curious found mates, found shared lives, and sure, found trauma and tragedy and mistakes, but shared them and continue to share them...
the purists stand alone...

Found this on a sticky note in last year's day-timer ... probably already within the text of your responses to me somewhere in this blogosphere ... but I deemed it worthy of a re-post :)

Reality bites

2009-02-26T09:29:00.000-08:00

... there's no way to find reality by escaping it ...

February 8, 2009

... so true ... but
... it could also be said that escaping it could help those confused realize what they were missing ... or does a walk into unreality doom one to living there forever? Sometimes you have to see the darkness to appreciate the light and vice versa.

Morning

2009-02-26T08:39:00.000-08:00

Morning has stumbled into existence ...

January 26, 2009

Great visual !

Then

2009-02-26T08:24:00.000-08:00

what fun might be found in the moment of then...

February 7, 2009

Another great line about moments ... your February seems to have been conciously or unconciously or semi-conciously focused on moments ...

Under the influence

2009-02-26T08:21:00.000-08:00

the wonder of living alone under the influence of humanity, aye?...

February 7, 2009

Loved this!!

this moment

2009-02-26T08:16:00.000-08:00

may you feel your moments pass and fill them with something you love

February 9, 2009

Mondays ...

2009-02-26T07:59:00.000-08:00

mon-daze

February 16, 2009

How appropriate ...

Hope

2009-02-26T07:50:00.000-08:00

because every moment holds meaning and when alone, this is the only hope this moment ever has of being shared...

February 22, 2009

I have missed you ... and this brilliance ... I'm happy that I'm back

Alive

2009-02-26T07:40:00.000-08:00

blogging, i mean... i started writing to talk to myself, to express myself, to figure out what i thought and felt about everything cuz if i could make sense of things in words, then things made more sense in my head... especially the abstract things like love and right and wrong and colors and flavors and the price of tea in china, or something like that... anyway, i am alive, i am here (who?)...

February 23, 2009

To prove we're alive ... isn't that one of the primary motivations for all us bloggers ... to prove we're more than just another cog in the machine ...

Family

2009-02-26T07:29:00.000-08:00

and i ponder, is this not what every real close family is about, ultimately, to share those few moments of life each day, whether over a meal, or just before bed, or even on the phone for those few moments… a few moments to catch up because the caring never ends and the wanting to know how was your day is genuine…

January 22, 2009

But you know as well as I do (or maybe I shouldn't assume that you know) ... that there are many a family out there that doesn't share, that don't catch up, that don't share genuine ... and that's a real shame ...

I was one of those once ...

The sounds of silence

2008-11-29T05:51:00.000-08:00

it's so sweet to put on music and listen to the space listening to the music... silence loves music, you know
November 19, 2008

:)

Distractions from distractions

2008-11-29T05:46:00.000-08:00

before you get to thinking anything is real, you should take off your clothes and see if anyone laughs… if you hear silence, then nobody is paying any attention, so why bother, the illusion is nothing if not shared… the real is the moment you touch it, make it a shared experience, and invest yourself in the promise that is a connection… everything else is just background noise, distractions from the distractions of life…
June 12, 2008

beautiful ...

Memories

2008-11-29T05:39:00.000-08:00

memories are the background noise of the mind, the distractions that play from within like the TV you aren't really listening to, but never seems to go off ...
July 22, 2008

brilliant!

just hanging ...

2008-11-28T10:15:00.000-08:00

i don't hang where the people hang cuz i prefer to be where i belong and while that leaves me alone a lot, i want to find someone who doesn't hang where the people hang ...

November 16, 2008

sometimes the simplest string of words says it all ...

Simpsonian Philosophy

2008-11-28T10:13:00.000-08:00

contrary to the simpsonian philosophy, there does reach a point where a body can consume too many donuts... this warning has been brought to you by the pillsbury doughboy...
November 16, 2008

doh!

Time

2008-11-28T07:06:00.000-08:00

i wonder what you are doing... are you ok, sad, happy, sick, well, high, low... wishing you would tell... only time will tell?... yes, we can say that, but in truth, it is not time, it is you who will tell if and when you choose to... if it happens, it will happen in time, so we attribute it to time in this sense, but it is you... for time does not know you as well as you know you, even if time had a consciousness and could actually type words for you... are your days filled with laughter or tears or both or neither?... and why, the ultimate question for me, why are you feeling as you feel, why are you doing what you do, why are you here, there, wherever you are...

November 24, 2008

beautifully haunting

Wooly Mammoth Writings

2008-11-13T12:32:00.000-08:00

it's been a wild and wooly ten days and much writing has not been written yet
2004-08-23

Rungs

2008-11-13T09:41:00.001-08:00

until then, I'll be rambling up and down the ladder of doubts and security
2008-08-01
:)

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping ...

2008-11-13T07:37:00.000-08:00

but we never actually get to the future, do we?... tomorrow is always the day after today, I mean, when tomorrow is supposed to get here, it's today again... so is tomorrow always late?... is living for tomorrow being in the state of constant lateness, living in an illusion that something that never actually arrives will somehow come along on some imaginary timeline and change things or even make everything better?... is that what waiting for heaven is all about?... is after-life the same as tomorrow?...
2004-07-21

absolutely love this!!!

Time munchers

2008-11-13T07:35:00.000-08:00

I was and am now again referring to the time-munchers... now you may have heard them called gremlins or time-bandits or even paleotemporal delineators, but I happen to know they are time-munchers cuz even though they are usually invisible to the naked eye, I've seen them...

what are time-munchers, you might ask... well, isn't the name self-explanatory?... I suppose not, if you are asking... it's the disappearance of time, have you not noticed?... are you not experienced in the phenomenon of looking at the clock and wondering where the times has gone?...

... recovery is possible if you know how to deal with the munchers, but don't tell them that because the key to recovering time is not letting them know you are getting it back from them... there is the negotiation method where you promise the time-munchers a large chunk of time in the future for the time they munched in the recent past, but that only works if the particular time-munchers munching your time have poor long term memories and generally time-munchers have singular memories, that is, they remember everything because they maintain all memory in a single memory cell, not that they are completely corporal beings, but there is much to be discovered about the true nature and composition of time-munchers and this entry was not to be about them anyway...
2004-07-20

... delightful!

shifting

2008-11-13T07:24:00.001-08:00

Shifting focus heightens clarity, but first you must want your perspective to change.

The Funda

... and humans seem to like to hold on to their perspectives with white-knuckled fists, choking the life, the humanity out of the perspective before long ... and change? (shall we all "guffaw" together?) Even humans write books (Who moved my Cheese ... for one) about humanity's unwillingness, fear and reluctance to change ...

... and humans seem to really like talking about "keeping focused" ... "not losing focus" ... "staying focused" ... which leads to set perspectives and perpetual stasis ... which lessens clarity ... dulls the vision, blurs the borders, edges ... diminishes the focus ...

... hmmm ... talk about convoluted ... so next time someone tells me to "stay focused" ... I'll have to remember that what they're really asking is for me to lose focus and blur the lines ... according to my definition anyway.

eternity with you

2008-11-13T07:23:00.001-08:00

All there is to be, all there is to share is a moment, yet I seek an eternity to share with you. It is not permanence I seek, but rather someone with who to share the impermanence. While it may appear incongruous to some logic, it is as simple as this: We can achieve this by sharing the moment as the eternity it is...
The Funda

what can I say? ... sometimes comments just detract from the original beauty.

almost could haves what ifs

2008-11-13T07:16:00.000-08:00

a lot might have almost happened
2004-07-11

... nothing new about this perspective ... I tend to play with this thought (or something quite like it) when I'm bored or just before I go to bed (lends itself well for great fiction, flights of fancy and fantastical dreams) ... BUT ... this is definitely the best arrangement of words I've yet to see to describe the thought, the perspective ...

... very Suessical

Plans

2008-11-10T13:01:00.000-08:00

plans can be made... plans can be laid... they can be the best plans... laid by the best of men... they can even be laid by mice... but plans may be for fools...
... but the mice failed us and those best laid plans, well, they were mislaid... perhaps we should have left it for the women to have laid them, but who knew... next time, I see if I can get my plan laid by a woman...
2004-06-06

Slip sliding away ...

2008-11-10T12:37:00.001-08:00

philosophy is a walk on slippery rocks ...
2004-05-31

Multiple choice

2008-11-10T12:19:00.001-08:00

there are no answers, only choices?...
and more questions...
2004-05-23

Contracts

2008-11-10T12:05:00.000-08:00

i am contractually obligated by my own handshake
November 6, 2008

Imagine ... what a world this would be if we all heeded our handshakes?

Wait!

2008-11-10T11:58:00.000-08:00

everybody waits, sometimes
November 4, 2008

I don't know about you ... but this sounds like the seed of a song.

Closed until Further Notice

2008-11-02T11:11:00.001-08:00

pardon the dullness, life is closed for alterations
2004-05-24

... any idea when you're reopening (rhetorical naturally)

When your shoes are too full ...

2008-11-02T11:08:00.000-08:00

I sometimes have so much to say, I don't say anything because the words trip over themselves...
2004-05-22

... that's when words get in the way

Stupidity on Two Legs

2008-11-02T10:53:00.000-08:00

but anyway, I am so full of it... so much stupidity on two legs... if I sat on a broom I'd be jerk on a stick... if I could fly I'd be the only flying dodo bird left alive... if I was a fish I'd probably forget I could breath under water and drown...
2004-05-11

I'm sure we could think up more of these ...

Definitions

2008-11-02T10:48:00.001-08:00

I just had a glimmer, almost a shimmer... a glimmer, for those of you wondering, is a sliver of a revelation, a glint of epiphany, a moment of potentially profound thought that inspires a smile mostly because it does not require much more exploration at the moment... a shimmer, on the other hand, would have some more tentative possibilties and be scary-exciting, kind of like will the roller coaster car fly off the track this time? or like a crack in the wall between understanding everything and not (with the shimmer being the light that shines through to the not side, where we are)...
2004-05-10

... definitions ... but what about a glint and a shard or a glisten ....

'ants ...

2008-11-02T10:46:00.001-08:00

like, why do you think they are called Protestants?... let's see... contestants participate in contests... protestants participate in... take your time... protests, right?... I mean, duuuh)...
2004-05-09

:P

See if I care ...

2008-11-02T09:52:00.000-08:00

"fuck me, see if I care"
Layla's World / Moods

In other places, other times, other spaces ... these words were mine ...mine ...

Feeding Vampires

2008-11-02T09:39:00.000-08:00

... so there is a part of me bleeding and will probably go on bleeding forever (feeding vampires, perhaps)...
2004-05-06

dark humour - the kind I like best ... gotta' love the ability to see something else beyond your own bleeding ...

The Voice

2008-10-30T19:09:00.001-07:00

"Yeah, like someone is going to read it all," the voice scoffed notably in the back of his mind, "what with all the ridiculously redundant rhetoric (and thetoric) and wildly unnecessary predicates (and adjectives and adverbs) pressing prose to comprehendable limits." ... (ummmm, delayed Editorial Notation: I believe he might have meant incomprehensible, or perhaps beyond comprehendable was what he actually meant).

The boy looked up at him thoughtfully, wondering just where the old man had lost his mind.

I am the old man. I am the boy. I am the aardvark.

mostly vegetarian.

I am the gas man. I am the fool. I am the rainbow.

temporarily colorblind.

we are our own blessing, we are our own crime, the knowledge is misery, tragedy, ecstasy and the sublime...

I am the rich man. I am the pauper. I am the tool.

momentarily complete.

I am the sand man. I am the giggle. I am the end.

"Yeah, like someone is going to understand it all," the voice smiled.

2004-05-03

There is such brilliance in this entry that I cut and pasted from within the babblings of a long post which probably rambled to hide the brilliance that was spewing forth from your fingertips ... why you do that is beyond me.

Lack of focus ... ADHD ... all those excuses you so commonly use are rather paper-thin and don't stand up to any kind of examination. So I can only speculate that the pearls of wisdom strewn here and hither through the hundreds of strung together words of ramble are another example of the "tests of worth" and other booby traps laid throughout your word webs.

and yet again, this may be the clearest example to prove your basic insecurity ... the need to add more, to dilute and pollute the clearest thoughts and brilliance ...

(ssshhh ... don't give me your "but I'm too (insert appropriate word here) and wreck havoc and fear in the hearts of human and I'm tired of being lonely so I have to do this so that I can lull the fears and shivers and chills so that I can at least have the illusion of people who care" serenade ... though it may be true most of the time ... I won't accept that this is the real reason behind the pollution thrown into this kind of brilliant thought process / writing ... otherwise you would never post or share or write rhymes that others see)

hmmm ... when I figure it out ... I'll let you know ... :P

Eagle's eye view of life ...

2008-10-30T19:02:00.001-07:00

this is where you find me today, if you are looking... in a holding pattern circling the rubble, gazing down upon the shattered remnants of a life so carefully constructed I was retired within my security and peace...

2004-05-01

... or life from an airplane window ...

Batteries and Power Cells

2008-10-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

and after all, there's only a lifetime warranty on my inner power cells

October 27, 2008

This really appealed to me ... because I often make reference to the Energizer Bunny ... and batteries and such. I've just never been clever enough to highlight "lifetime" ... very witty and wise of you

Potatoes

2008-10-29T15:03:00.000-07:00

wake up world, remember, couch potatoes have ears too..
2004-04-18

:)