though I realize that time is relative ... sometimes there really is no time ... and the cost of "stolen time" is not worth it in the end ...
justification? maybe.
but I do come back ... the silence breaks ... when it has to (who is to say that it is not a case of the silence breaking when it should?)
my pattern is a harsh one ... harsh for me, and harsher for those who are standing by waiting for the silence to break. For that I apologize.
perhaps that pattern is simply too engrained to change ... perhaps that pattern works enough to not neccesitate changing at this point as there is so much else to work on.
it seems like I have a lot of "all or nothing" working within ... all silent or all thinking ... and in between a type of remote control managing ...
too bad there's no black box in my brain to see what's really going on in the dark regions of my brain when I'm in remote control mode ... now that would be interesting
thank you for waiting through the silence. I truly appreciate it.
again, i missed this... i believe i see why... i stopped checking email regularly and depend on comment moderation for notification which is on the blogger page...
there are 1801 email messages in the "comments" folder in my email... 99% from "Anonymous" and 98% SPAM... alas... sometimes i just don't want to look in that folder at all...
but tonight i decided i would give more effort to checking that folder ... now i just need to check email more than once every few months, huh?...
2 comments:
though I realize that time is relative ... sometimes there really is no time ... and the cost of "stolen time" is not worth it in the end ...
justification? maybe.
but I do come back ... the silence breaks ... when it has to (who is to say that it is not a case of the silence breaking when it should?)
my pattern is a harsh one ... harsh for me, and harsher for those who are standing by waiting for the silence to break. For that I apologize.
perhaps that pattern is simply too engrained to change ... perhaps that pattern works enough to not neccesitate changing at this point as there is so much else to work on.
it seems like I have a lot of "all or nothing" working within ... all silent or all thinking ... and in between a type of remote control managing ...
too bad there's no black box in my brain to see what's really going on in the dark regions of my brain when I'm in remote control mode ... now that would be interesting
thank you for waiting through the silence. I truly appreciate it.
again, i missed this... i believe i see why... i stopped checking email regularly and depend on comment moderation for notification which is on the blogger page...
there are 1801 email messages in the "comments" folder in my email... 99% from "Anonymous" and 98% SPAM... alas... sometimes i just don't want to look in that folder at all...
but tonight i decided i would give more effort to checking that folder ... now i just need to check email more than once every few months, huh?...
appreciation back to you too...
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