pretentious obscurantism

it may be that i lack an audience because i enjoy irreverence (and word play leading to repetitive redundancy and parenthetic distraction) so much i may appear to present as pretentious obscurantism... perhaps i am just misunderstood... but i do wander into wonder a lot and can easily be distracted by almost anything, even squirrels... and there are those profoundly meaningless questions that come to mind like why are brits afraid to smile... of course it is meaninglessness, like pretentious obscurantism (and redundant repetition), is in the mind of the beholder... everything is always a matter of perspective and opinion, after all... except what we know for sure, that is (whatever that is)... perhaps a search for obscurity... but don't mind me, i am still looking for empirical evidence of my own existence... or something like that...

are there no more foolish wisdoms

or is there simply no time? and is that a foolish wisdom in itself? silent foolish wisdom?

relative ends

listening to the words of a song
from a movie that was a play
will someone care

sung by the members of a life support group
for people dying of aids
suddenly i am aware

that everyone is dying
and everyone is trying
to not be alone in the end

and everyone is wondering
the question is thundering
will someone be the friend
who will be there in the end

we're all asking
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
when the body fails me
when i can no longer care for myself
will i face nursing home dangers
will i be put out with the trash
will i be at the mercy of strangers
wiping my nose, my drool, my ass
will i lose my dignity
will someone care

it may be more obvious with cancer or aids
but we all share the same fear
of being alone at the end

old age is the final card that is played
if none of the others do it,
old age will, my friend

for everyone is dying
and everyone is trying
to not be alone in the end

and everyone is wondering
the question is thundering
will someone be the friend
who will be there in the end

we're all asking
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
when the body fails me
when i can no longer care for myself
will i face nursing home dangers
will i be put out with the trash
will i be at the mercy of strangers
wiping my nose, my drool, my ass
will i lose my dignity
will someone care

sometimes i want to end it all while i can
rather than be alone when i'm helpless at the end
sometimes i want to end it all, do you understand?
no one answers when i ask who will be the friend?

we're all asking
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
when the body fails me
when i can no longer care for myself
will i face nursing home dangers
will i be put out with the trash
will i be at the mercy of strangers
wiping my nose, my drool, my ass
will i lose my dignity
will someone care

for everyone is dying
and everyone is trying
to not be alone in the end

and everyone is wondering
the question is thundering
will someone be the friend
who will be there in the end

beheadings

understanding

are you afraid that if you actually realized that you could understand everything that maybe your head would fall off or something

all along

as if it's been here all along

and so it has, because it is, because you see, the here and now, was once before and this was not, but now it is, as if it's been here all along ...

foolish wisdom

everything in this world is so skewed by human judgments, by preconceptions of right and wrong, how can anyone have a clearly objective perspective or understanding of anything?

Open books

I'm a book...
sometimes fiction, mostly non-fiction...

2005-06-10

Aren't we all? ... only the percentages are different